Rope bondage safety check list

Safety

Discuss safewords with your partner(s)

Practice them now.
Consider if you or your partner are multilingual. Will you use a different language when panicked or surprised?

Discuss limits with your partner

Will this scene be sexually explicit? Make it clear.
Will the scene involve sexual touch? Penetration?
What ties are involved? What tools might be used?
Are there any actions, words or phrases that are off limits?
What are the risks? Make sure everyone is informed of risks; especially if the scene involves suspension or the possibility of falling without being able to use your arms to save yourself.

Discuss physical health

Do you or your partner(s) have any current or past injuries that could be triggered?
Are you well hydrated? When did you last eat? What did you eat?
Do you have any conditions or medications that are time sensitive? Will you or your partner(s) possibly need insulin, inhalers, epi-pens, etc? Where are any medications you may need?

Discuss sexual health

Do you or they have other partners that need to be declared before, or informed of this interaction?
What is their sexual health status? So they have any STI’s?
Do they have any open wounds?
Are any of your partners a squirter? (Will you need/want to use synthetic/easily washable rope?)

Be prepared for emergencies with a Safety Cutter.

Make sure your safety cutter is ready and in sight.
Use the right tool. One specifically designed to be use in a rush or panic next to exposed skin. DO NOT USE A REGULAR KNIFE OR STRAIGHT BLADE.
Safety cutters should be placed within reach and in a place that is not able to be covered by thrown clothes or rope.
Have a backup.

Have a plan for Aftercare.

Will your partner(s) need comfort and/or space following the scene? Ask.
Will you need any comfort items afterwards? What are they? Where are they? Put them close.

New Partners

Ask what their level of rope experience is.

Have they been involved in a scene before.
Are they familiar with terms.
What do they expect?
What do they hope to get out of the scene?
Do they have any history of nausea in rope?

Ask about their previous experiences.

How do they respond to rope? Do they respond:

Sexually to rope/to specific ties, or specific ways of tying?
Fearfully?
If they have done scenes before, do they "Sub-out" in rope or in other situations?

Are they actually comfortable using/will they actually use a Safeword when stressed? Are you? Practice them again now.

Ask about their expected reactions.

Are they claustrophobic? Might they have a reaction specifically to rope close to the neck/throat?
Do they have a fear of heights, or spinning? Do they get dizziness or vertigo?
Do they have any allergies? In particular do they have allergies to natural fibres? Beeswax?

Talk about possible negative outcomes.

Are they aware of "drop"? Have they experienced it before? How do they manage drop?
Are they aware that rope mark will likely be left behind? Does this change their limits?
Do they understand the risks? Proper bondage is usually safe, but every scene carries at least some level of risk.
Minor injuries may include:

Rope marks; depressions in the skin like those left by tight socks, bras, or belts
"Petechial hemorrhaging"; sounds scary but is just bruising that fades after a few days to a week.
Rope burn

Major injuries, while rare, may include:

Injuries from falling
Sprained or dislocated joints (if putting the bottom into stressful positions)
Broken bones (again from falling)
"Nerve compression injuries"

Returning Partners

Re-establish play boundaries

Ask if they have any new injuries since last time you Played together.
Ask if there are any areas of their body they do/do not want touched.
Ask if they have any new partners that need to be considered/communicated with.
What do they expect?
What do they hope to get out of the scene?

Ask when they last ate.

What did they eat? When?
Are they well hydrated?
Ask if they need/have snacks for afterwards?

Things to be aware of:

You may be left with marks:

There will likely be rope marks on the skin that fade after a couple hours.
You may develop bruising that lasts for a couple days up to a week. This is known as "Petechial hemorrhaging".

Show your partner where the safety cutters are.

© Dexterfire (2022)
Inspired by Lady-Disgrace (2015)

SAFE WORDS

Safewords are words that are easy to say and remember that any party can use at any time to slow down or stop the scene (as negotiated beforehand).

One common set of safewords to use is the traffic light system where:
"Green" means resume or continue.
"Yellow" means slow down or pause
and "Red" means stops everything immediately.

All scenes no matter the intensity should have AT LEAST one hard stop safeword. You never know when a muscle is going to cramp, or a sudden panic attack may hit even if you have no plans to push boundaries.

Scene/Play

A "scene" is a setting in which where "play" takes place.
Kink interactions often have a lot of banter back and forward between the parties involved, leading to scenes often feeling very playful.
Hence, 'having a scene' is often referred to as 'play'.

Both the word "Scene" and "Play" can be used as a verb, or as a noun. You might say you are "having a scene" or "scene-ing". You might refer to an interaction between two or more people as "a scene", or as "play".
In stark contrast to most intimate interactions between two vanilla people, a scene need not be sexual. In fact, they are frequently not sexual. Sometimes the play can be had just for the sake and enjoyment of the play itself.

The BDSM and kink community can also be referred to as "the scene". If someone is "in the scene" then they are part of the community.

SAFETY CUTTER TOOLS

Safety cutters are special tools that can cut through ropes easily but that are also safe to use near skin. Always use a tool specifically designed for this to ensure your do not accidentally stab or cut one of your partners. They may be unable to remain still if panicked or in pain.

Good quality EMT/bandaging sheers are a good option for this, or a sufficiently strong rescue hook.
If you are using a safety cutter that is not a single piece construction, have two (one as a backup), as any mechanical device can fail at any moment.

Aftercare

Aftercare is something that is done after you and your partner(s) are finished with your scene

Its purpose is to return you and your partner(s) to an emotional baseline, after being emotionally elevated with more adrenaline, and endorphins, than you normally have.

Everyone has different aftercare needs. If you or your partner are unfamiliar with what aftercare means, or the different kinds of aftercare, it is likely that you will benefit from some research on the subject.

Google "BDSM aftercare", or follow this link to find out more.

Sub-Out

'Subbing-Out' is when someone goes into 'sub space'. This is a state of mind that can affect the behaviours one displays.

People may become very compliant and obedient, feel limp and relaxed, or become nonverbal. this can be someone confronting to both top and bottom if not properly informed of how someone 'subs-out' before a scene.

Everyone 'subs out' differently. If you or your partner are unfamiliar with the different ways people can 'sub-out', it is likely that you will benefit from some research on the subject.

Google "BDSM sub-space", or follow this link to find out more.

Petechial-hemorrhaging

Petechial hemorrhaging sounds scary but is in fact simply a patterened bruise that fades in a few days to a week

Petechial hemorrhaging most often shows up at the points in-between where the rope was pressed into the skin. When rope with a twisted construction is used, it is the spaces in-between where the strands press into the skin that show the petechial hemorrhaging

This type of marking is mostly harmless, except when you get harassed by well meaning friends and relatives after they see marks that you didn’t want them to see.

Petechial hemorrhaging left behind after a tie

Petechial hemorrhaging left behind after a tie

Image originally taken from RopeStudy.com

Nerve compression injuries

Nerve compression injuries are a serious subject matter, and far too deep to be fully discussed in a single card here

These are far and away the most common injuries that rope bottoms encounter, take only seconds to occur, and can occur subtly, often before either party notices.

Make sure you are fully educated on this subject matter from sites like crashrestraint.com and ropestudy.com

Major nerved to watch out for & their locations

Major nerved to watch out for & their locations

Drop

"Drop" is a BIG subject. It is far too information dense, and far too important to include in a single card

Fundamentally however, 'drop' is the acute onset of depression-like feelings. It is mitigated by giving both the top and the bottom good aftercare, and making sure you check in with your partner the next day, as well as 3-7 days afterwards.
Ask your partner how long after your play they would like you to check in with them.

If you do not know much about drop, you will be much safer being well informed about the risks, as well as the ways to identify and manage it.
Google "BDSM Drop", or follow this link to find out more.

What did you eat?

This question may seem unimportant, but it may cause issues if a bottoms last meal was very carb heavy

I once heard a story about a rope top that was tying a bottom. This would be her second time ever in rope. Before going to her tops house for the play session she thought “I’ll be a good rope bottom and make sure I’m well fed and hydrated”.

Half way through a TK she vomited half a lasagne onto the rug; she had a very carb heavy meal just prior to going to her tops house.

Lesson learned; eat well, but don’t have ‘heavy’ foods. At best you’ll feel uncomfortable, at worst you might not be able to continue your play.